They have given him false info about me and my kids (some, i planted to see how long it would take for them to tell him!). Also, start dr eloping other friendships do you are not so dependent on your family. He hasnt moved on with another woman which I was really hoping he would but he did move right across from my parents home which is convenient for them all. Try to follow your faith and ask the question to God and family in addition to seeking advice in a forum. If they do still invite him then she will need to decide whether to go anyway or make her own separate plans. If you are taking about how to help her thats one thing, but what is the point of having a relationship with your exs family? Now youre a big toddler and the world is your playground, your games do not end when people get hurt because your stupid games never stop and they never end. I think your ex deliberately tried to phase you out and that sucks. He said he ordered for and will wake me for it. Relationship coach Fran Greene, LCSW, told Elite Daily that the ideal situation is one where the split was mutual. It was a brutal divorce, with her filing affidavits and court subpoenas of credit cards. I dont know if I could be a strong as you. I feel like an emotional mess and cry any time I think about all of it. I ask my family why they keep my ex family on as friends on face book? My mum keeps in contact with my ex who I was with for 6 months and who was abusive towards me. Weve been divorced for almost 5 years and Ive talked to them about inviting him to stuff before. All fell on deaf ears, instead my daughter and I were outcasts. Do what YOU need to do for YOUR mental health!! The world does not revolve around you, you are not special, and quite honestly I have every reason to believe you are grooming your children, as, narcissistic pieces of crap such as yourself engage in the same stupid cycles of behavior. She calls her more than she calls him. Counseling? His ex was probably a good person which they really liked and for the fact that he and his ex are no longer together doesn't stop them from communicating with his ex. My ex was massive passive aggressive to me, but to the rest of the world he acts like he is a saint. Heres an idea, dont get involved with a divorced man. My sister and her husband now have limited contact with my oldest son. A big issue for me is I feel my new partner isnt fully moving on, has the best of both worlds, and in turn this is leaving me a bit deflated. You are so dead on when you suggested my x is a narcissist and very manipulative as well. He sounds like a narcissist who has them fooled and he is gaslighting you. He acts like any feelings are my problem, or he doesnt care about how I feel as if its an annoyance. They dont bring her up around me anymore. So I let my anger and hatred go, not so he and my family can be happy. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I have a Sister whos befriended my Xs new wife on FB it hurts Me so bad ! supporting them all) he's been doing on autopilot for the last 30 . Maybe the family has their reason for being distant. My brother was furious theyd made some kind of back handed gesture that blamed him. The person has finally had enough and breaks up with the abusive person. I always just wanted peace but they all want to control me . They may feel as though they are just being nice and that everyone should try and get along, but its also true that nothing new can evolve if something old is not allowed to die. I feel very sorry for your brother and your family sound very insensitive. That means ur family are in support of that divorce if not they will not be friend to is girl friend and ur sister, is very bad for them to go out with is girl friend I did not support it. Learn to adapt and genuinely play nice together. All I could do was email. Is he over his ex yet? This just shows that the person who wants their ex gone is controlling. And I hope at this point theyve realized that theyre support needs to go to you. I am not a prude and was not denying him, it is that he has some major problems. They talk to me about him like I want to know He didnt get that it wasnt okay to keep hanging out with my family. He does it in front of the kids and friends. My boyfriend and I are going through the same thing with his family and his ex. I just want to give up and write them all off. I think these comments are horrid, maybe I missed something but Jesus, try to look at this from the guys perspective, you have full custody of HIS KIDS, theyre not just yours, just because hes more financially set and has an actual love life doesnt mean you have any right to allow your jealousy to hurt him. He has 77 friends and 9 of them are from my family. Her ex husband is not entitled to them. Not a victim A SURVIVOR . You dont overcome it you just find a way to deal with it. Right now Im working through drafts of a declination letter to my cousins wedding, and I know that it will just make me look worse. Staying friends with exes is one thing, but staying friends with their families is something completely different. The husband comes too, but it really hurts to see her there. My parents immediately took his side and we didnt speak for 6 years. I sit in the bathroom sometimes for hours and need to vent or Im going to end up in a bad place. Mind you I was 13 and he was 22, so who is really to blame? Ive been suffering in silence because I had no idea anyone was in my shoes. Sadly she will probably never be able to have insight into what shes doing wrong but i wanted to reassure you that how you feel is completely normal and although you are obviously distressed are handling it in a very mature manner. Go do the right thing and make peace with yourself and start treating him as other parent raising the childreN give him more visiting time than ever other weekend crap.. Wow, that is a really messed up situation that you are dealing with. I never did anything batshit apart to leave a man who I found out since day one had been manipulating my good nature. He did tell me the other day that his ex was dating someone new, and that he was happy for her. My familys happiness is way more important than some ridiculous grudge Ive held way too long to over an ex. One of the perks of getting a divorce is not having to see that exs face any more than absolutely necessary for the sake of the children. After 3 heartbreaking years and my brother and two grandchildren (also ostracised by default) I began to heal and I cannot believe how healthy and happy my life has become. After 5 years of no contact with my family, I reached out the olive branch to my Dad and we have been in contact for 4 months but he still talks about my ex, what he is up to etc. It kills me to this day that just because we got a divorce his family turned on me. Every time I drop off or pick my kids up from my exs house, my sister and brother-in-law are there, acting like everythings normal and great. Please let me share a couple of things with you. Think of the opposite, what if they felt abandoned by their father and you struggled to get him to spend any time with them, would that be healthy for those children? I think they are insensitive and dont deserve you. When a person finds someone they connect with, it shouldnt be taken lightly, or disposed of due to another persons unwillingness to turn the other cheek. Your wounds are new. My mother and all the family still stayed close to her. I think it is unreasonable to expect everyone in your family to discontinue all the relationships they have forged with your ex over (probably) years. Your family isnt acting like a family at all. I watched for almost 20 years as the ex and my family went on vacations, cruses My Ex was not even a good father, never around and never knew his kids. Good luck <3. They spend more time with him than with me as well. It is not about either of you now. They even fed him information and made the situation worse they actually put me in physical danger. she was even mistaken for still being his girlfriend several times! If your boyfriend isn't very close to his family, he may not think a proper introduction is truly necessary. They all carve pumpkins (Halloween) and build gingerbread houses (Christmas) together, etc. Move on and you can all be one big happy family. He doesnt take the kids to the dentist, doctor, for hair cuts or anything else they need beyond food. This too has been my life for 8 years. He was selfishly looking out for just himself. And why is he accepting the relationships to continue like this? Eventually I got a new partner, who he knew through being around me so he thought it was a betrayal, he went crazy, was threatening etc during this time he started going to my sisters most days again, he was threatening my new partner yet my sister was still supporting him which of course hurt me. completely stopped talking to my family, it is definitely a distanced relationship. He is welcome to be with our adult children on their turf. I was married to my husband Anderson, I love him so much that we have been married for seven years with two children. But I feel this is wrong and shes doing it all on purpose to be hateful to me. He asked me to leave the house immediately after he asked for. Whenever she brings a new guy on the scene, your boyfriend has a problem with it. Your opinion of him means nothing, and his actions speak volume beyond your petty and shameful argument. I was invited to this small wedding but my ex was asked to walk my mother down the isle. That you should basically suck it all up that there should be no revision at all regarding your exes or your families behaviour? He said he felt bad for doing it. You may feel like your going crazy, but you are not crazy. My Situationship Broke Up With Me Unexpectedly. My family reached out to him after my eldest had been alienated from me as a teenager. I cut off the flying monkeys, family or not, raise your kids and get out of there. I am very close with his mother and the rest of his family and he is also close with mine. Trying to dig out of the depression is hard, doing whats best for you is near impossible. My ex was never liked by my family until we divorced & then he ingrained himself by constantly slandering me. My friends are my family now but it does hurt. When I found out I gave him 30 days to move and take any furniture he might need. Just because her parents/siblings are friendly with the father of their grandchildren and nieces/nephews does not mean they are cruel or heartless. It is 3 years since I cut contact and part of me still loves my siblings for the children they were and the people I thought they were but the bigger part of me has to face reality and accept that they are toxic. To answer your question, I dont think its unreasonable at all. I live with hes mom and I dont know what to do, So the guy Ive been with weve been together on and off for about seven years and it didnt start so well I was separated from my husband and he was separated from his wife and well we moved a little bit too quickly and things got complicated and we had a kid and I was still going through a divorce he was already divorced at that moment but the drugs got in the way and I couldnt do it anymore when I found out I was pregnant I love them I moved to a different state with my family he wanted me to come back and did I mention he tried to go back to his ex-wife who he was with for 26 years and she didnt want them she was moving to be with somebody else shes now married and weve tried to make it work but their relationship their friendship has always been in the way of us progressing for my insecurities and him going back-and-forth with her in the past so Ive lost a little bit of trust and Ive tried its hard for me to be a woman of understanding when he talks to her likeA friend and weve had is just so many problems that weve lost that because of all the trust issues and betrayal in the past and I for gave him but its just been really hard to forget and its really affected our family with my daughter and now he says he cant do it anymore and while we were hardly talk I dont know how to fix it and I dont know where to begin because weve been through this so many times I think its time to go our separate ways but I really want to try for my daughter and I just dont know how to let go Yes I forgot to mention that they have kids together no younger than 13 and 24 and our daughter is 3. 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